fattypatties

I'm impressed with Master Chef, Julie Goodwin. I guess the early reports that she turned down a quarter of a million dollars from Jenny Craig was innaccurate. No figure was apparently discussed, but the person leaving the job was paid a rumored $900K, so I'm sure it was a big pile of money from which she walked away.

I especially liked why she walked away:

"I am less concerned about my weight than about the fact that one in seven people do not have enough food to eat each day and that is why I wanted to be an ambassador for Oxfam Grow" (source: Daily Telegraph)

Yeah I know that she later reassured everyone that she watches what she eats and she didn't think all weight loss was bad and all the other disclaimers about it being her life and her choices, but she's still a hero in my eyes because she walked away from the money and she is doing something more important with her life.

I want to celebrate her decision because as things developed last week regarding Jess Weiner (look it up because I'm over linking to her or providing her with search engine optimization through net attention), I became profoundly disappointed in how contrived and base it all seemed. She was a shill for Dove and now she is going to be a shill for weight loss. Too bad, so sad, and frankly, boring.

The contrast to between Jess and Julie is profound and holds important lessons about self-love and priorities. Julie is okay with being herself, so her priorities can lead her elsewhere. It is her own heart and not money that rules her decisions.

So I just want to give Julie Goodwin a great big shout out for loving her self and loveing others and keeping her priorities straight. If you're on FaceBook, you might go by her page and letting her know you appreciate her. Or better yet, support OxFam in her honor, which I'm sure she'd appreciate.

I am not healthy. I have not been healthy for years. Now you know the obvious. In 1987, I was healthy. I had beautiful metabolic numbers. I walked and jogged a lot. I played tennis regularly. I was 30 years old and most people thought I was under 21. I rarely smoked or drank. I was profoundly unhappy, however. I was in a bad marriage and I was sure I was going to die because I weighed 260 pounds.

Instead of helping me see that I could enjoy my life and my body if I uncovered my own wants, desires and happiness, I got bad advice. I was told I could only be happy if I shed the weight. I was told that my unhappiness didn't come from bad choices or from unresolved past issues or from simply not taking the time to know who I was and what I wanted to be. No, my unhappiness was because I was a thin person living in a fat body.

So a doctor gave this healthy body two prescriptions. Tenuate, which is a synthetic amphetamine and a diuretic to "jump start" my weight loss. Then I went on a 800 calorie diet that I faithfully followed for 2 years. I took my love of movement and turned it into a regimen of running 2 to 4 miles a day. I took my social life and ditched it for a fear of eating. And it turns out I took my healthy body and ruined it's metabolism.

In 1989, I was more messed up that ever emotionally, though I only weighed 130 pounds. I was divorced with no idea of what a good relationship could be. I was suicidal. Oh, and I was addicted not only to the Tenuate but to valuum that I started taking to sleep at night.

I've never been really healthy since that experience. But, hey, I was "success." My "after" picture was taken and I wrote a nice rendition of "my story" that was placed in a book for anyone walking into the bariatric clinic to see so that other's could be sold the path I had taken.

By 1993, most of the weight had come back on, though I was beginning to figure out who I was and what I wanted to be. By 1997, my health got worse and I have been disabled by my chronic conditions every since. So it is hard to say that I am healthy in the normal sense of that word.

The prevailing wisdom would say that it is the weight that created my ill health, but I know better. I know I was healthy at age 30 and that I did things to my body in the name of weight loss that led to disability. I dieted my way into disability and now I have to live with the body those behaviors and bad advice produced.

My first decision to love myself came in December 1990 while in a hospital because I had made a half-assed suicide attmept. I looked around at my surroundings and said, "I'm not crazy and I'm not going to choose to be crazy." I didn't fully understand what that journey meant, but it was definitely a first step towards loving myself because I rejected other people's definitions of me and started seeking my own.

My second decision to love myself came in November 1992 when I was fired from a job I hated and I decided I was never going to work full-time at a job I hated ever again. This decision eventually led to my getting my Ph.D. in Sociology as well as choosing to write, produce and create multi-media, rather than take a traditional academic trajectory.

My third decision to love myself came in August 1997 when I was misdiagnosed with lupus. The diagnosis was wrong but the prognosis was the same, I was facing life with chronic illness. I had to find a way to live that life fully.

The final decision to love myself came in January 2001, when I decided to give up dieting. I decided I was going to be the healthiest and happiest fat, disabled, aging person I could be. The transformation was complete. I loved my mind, I loved my talents, I loved my body.

But here's the thing. I am happier than I ever was. I do more healthy behaviors than I ever did. I love the skin I'm in. I love being me. I don't get up in the morning hoping that the day will be over. I don't dread my work. I don't hate my life.

I have aches and pains, and sometimes, I don't really recognize my aging body with its new wrinkles and new ailments. But I love my body and I care for it and treat as wonderfully as I can.

Life is struggle, but there is a difference between a struggle that feels like it is oppressing you and a struggle that holds the potential for growth and discovery. I prefer the latter.

So I'm fat. I'm disabled. I'm old. I'm not a poster girl for any particular cause. I live outside those boundaries and cannot hold myself up as a shining example of any particular success. But I'd rather be who I am today, than who I was at age 30.

That was my journey and it is one that I have to reaffirm in many ways almost daily, but it is also one that comes as naturally to me now as believing that if I just got skinny life would be okay came to me then.

I tell my journey often not because I necessarily need to do so, though it does help me to share it. I tell it often because it saddens me when I see young people falling for the same lies I fell for. It angers me to know that there are still "helpers" out there who are telling people, "you are not okay, let me sell you this to make you better." But I also tell my story for selfish reasons, because I know that if the market went away for these products, then my life would be easier. I could go through a day without being told how wrong I was. Loving myself would be respected. The more of us who love ourselves and accept ourselves and don't fall for the sales pitch, the easier it will be for all of us.

I wish you a pleasant and adventurous journey.

Tune in at 8p on Sunday, Feb 13 to the "Curvaceous Bounty of Sin City" net radio show and hear Pattie and Carl talk about sex and our book!

Fellow Pearlsong Author, Pat Ballard will be joining us as well!

This month, I am participating in a ReVolution! -- Every Monday in January I plan to write a blog post here about my life and how Health at Every Size℠ has changed my life for better. This is the fifth and final installment of five.

IDENTITY, STIGMA AND HEALTH AT EVERY SIZE℠

Erving Goffman is said to have looked through newspapers and magazines every day, clipping items that helped him shape his ideas about how people interact with each other. Several key elements emerged in his writing.

First, he noted that people anticipate how others will view them and seek to manage that view through action, gesture, dress and facial expression. He called this "impression management." He suggested that this thing we call our "self" is actually a multitude of "selves" that are created in the moment of interaction with other people who are also presenting their "selves" in an attempt to manage our impression of them. In essence we play parts like in a play and we change our behavior and our presentation based upon who we are with and how intimate we are with that person. Questions of trust, authenticity, desire and control inevitably become part of the mix.

It is this background that helped Goffman develop his ideas about social stigma. He defined social stigma as a "spoiled identity." He suggested that those who are stigmatized by others are limited in their ability to manage impressions. When we are stigmatized, those who would view us through a single lens do not let us show them multiple layers of abilities, character traits, desires, etc. To stigmatize is to control another and to prevent them from having a useful and fulfilling social relationship.

Here's how it works. If I am stigmatized and I do something that fits the stereotype of my stigmatized social identity, I am used to prove the truth of the stigma. If I do something that is different from the stigma I am regarded as being inauthentic, faking it or trying too hard. I cannot escape the stigma and show my authentic self, or manage impressions that move away from the stigma.

Most of what has been done about stigma since Goffman has missed the point. Efforts are made to help individuals who are part of stigmatized populations to cope with the stigma and rise above it. This usually only serves to reify the stigma not end it. If stigma is to end, it must be ended by those who are stigmatizing. It is telling that English is so convoluted at this point. We do not really have a word for those who stigmatize. Bigot, maybe, but that can evoke a history that one might not want to evoke. Stigma is often regarded as the "right" attitude to have.

For example, there is a kind of reasoning that suggests that stigmatizing fat is correct because fatness is a result of laziness and a lack of self-control on the part of the person who is deemed fat. Fat people are placed into a cardboard, flat group that assumes all individuals deemed a part of the group are alike and, indeed are lazy and lacking in control. These are the only things that matter about the fat person. A fat singer, a fat Ph.D., a fat scientist, a fat physician, a fat athlete and so forth cannot exist as just a singer, Ph.D., scientist, physician, athlete. The word fat as an adjective changes the identity of the noun into something less than human.

But most people do not regard this as bigotry. This stigma is regarded as not only good but as necessary to help the fat person become thin. The stigmatizer is seen as "caring" about the "health" of the fat person.

But the stigma translates into a self-fulfilling prophecy with discrimination leading to reinforcement of the stereotypes. Fat people are insured less often and therefore put off going to doctors and getting health care, which leads to them become sicker. Fat people earn less money, making it harder for them to adequately acquire clothing and other symbols that suggest competency or diligence. Fat people are pushed to social backstage, which leads other to assume that they are unhappy with their bodies. And, of course, almost all fat people have tried to get thinner, which reinforces this belief as well.

Here's the problem. Stigma limits the life chances of human beings. It doesn't improve health. It makes it worse.

Stigma creates stress and stress creates imbalances in our physical and emotional well-being. There is ample evidence that stigma is a predictor of ill-health and there is growing evidence that this may have to do with a physiological change that surprise, surprise, leads to all those conditions that are associated with and are supposedly caused by being fat.

So I could sit here and make a health argument at this point, citing articles and studies. But I want to make a different point with this post.

Stigma is also a bad things to do to another human being. It is controlling and limiting the freedom of people. It shuns and shames people. In a word, it is just ain't right.

So I'd like to suggest in this last installment that the reason to embrace Health at Every Size℠ is because it is a stigma-free approach. Instead of treating a person as being less than human because of their size (and by the way, this happens to people on the thin end of the spectrum as well, not too mention people are considered too short or too tall), HAES℠ celebrates all bodies. Instead of dividing humans into acceptable bodies and unacceptable bodies, HAES℠ opens the door to people being judged on what they do, not what they look like.

To me, this is the most important reason to embrace HAES℠. Health is relative and there can be much debate on what is and is not good for a person. But dignity, empathy and diversity are not debatable. So often fat people, even fat activists, get caught up in justifying their existence by outlining how healthy one can be and still be fat. But that is not the issue. The issue is that weight-focused health care is stigmatized health care.

My favorite slogan, which has been co-opted from the disabilities movement is "nothing about us without us." A real test of public health policy as well as personal health care is the extent to which the voice of the patient is heard. Fat people are silenced by medicalization of their natural variation.


So listen up world. We do not need help. We do not need a cure. We do not need to be changed. We are that perfection. We have dignity. We are human. It really is that simple.

And that, to me is the essence of Health at Every Size℠.

This month, I am participating in a ReVolution! -- Every Monday in January I plan to write a blog post here about my life and how Health at Every Size℠ has changed my life for better. This is the fourth installment of five.

HEALTH AT EVERY SIZE℠ AND THE LIFESTYLE POLICE --
(OR WHY HEATH AT EVERY SIZE℠ IS IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE OF ALL SIZES)

John Kennedy did implement the President's Council on Physical Fitness, which offered students rewards for various achievements in phys ed. I remember winning badges for things like long-jumping and running 100 yards (I had the second best time in my school for a girl in 11th grade). But there was not a lot of rhetoric connecting the physical fitness program with specific diseases and the question of public health. Since the 1970s, "fitness" has become more and more about policing behavior and personal responsibility, not about the joy of movement or the achievement of milestones.

What shifted in the 1970s with the physical fitness craze that led to the 1980s shift into funding lifestyle programs rather than prevention programs, was a fundamental understanding of health. The Baby Boomers seemed to have got it into their heads (as a group) that they could control their health. Jogging became a national past-time. Gym memberships rose. The belief that it was a good idea to do some exercise every day for general well-being became a quest to ward off all diseases. If we just ate the right foods, got the right amount of exercise, didn't smoke, didn't drink, and was conscious about nutrition, we SHOULD NOT GET SICK. EVER!!!

Of course, what that meant is that the poor souls who do get sick are suspected. Catch a cold, you didn't build up your immune system. Had an accident, you didn't stretch well or warm up in exercising. Contracted cancer, well it was obviously something you ate. Have a heart condition, your diet must be laden with, well depending upon who is speaking, too much fat, too little of the right kind of fat or if you eat correctly then it must be your Type A personality.

What started off as a system of promoting general well-being became a blame-the-victim game that has basically divided the population into haves and have-nots of health.

And of course, couple this with fat prejudice (as well as other kinds of prejudice) and a ready-made excuse for bigotry is woven into the culture. Believe that all fat people are lazy, ugly or dirty (the usual bigoted indictments of "other" groups), that's okay, you just care about their health.

This mechanism is, of course, not limited to fat people. Everyone with lung cancer is suspected of smoking. Everyone with AIDS is suspected of sexual "perversion." Liver disease means you must have drank too much. And so forth.

The new part of that rhetoric is "costs" -- almost daily someone somewhere publishes a report that shows how much the bad habits of others are costing everyone.

At the heart of this rhetoric lies two assumptions that need to be examined:

1. We have control of our health.
   
   
   


2. We are personally responsible for our own health and no one else's.

I believe that these two assumptions are patently false, though each with a grain of truth (as most lies need in order to be believable).

It is true that we have influence over our health and if we do things to excess (including exercising too much or restricting our food intake and obsessing over it too much), we will hurt our bodies in the long run and as we get older in the short run. But we do not control our health in full.

One of the original fitness gurus, Jack LaLanne died last week at the age of 96. He live a long and exceptional life, but the fact is he still died. He didn't die healthy. He died. Of course, a lot of people are pointing to LaLanne's life as an example, but I suspect that genetics played a bigger role in his longevity than his supporters would like to admit.

Jim Fixx was one of the thought leaders in the fitness craze of the 70s. He was a well-known runner. He died while running at the age of 52 from a heart attack. In truth, given that heart disease ran in his family and his father died in his early 40s, Fixx may have added some years and even quality to his life through his running. But he died young just the same.

The point is that there are a huge number of factors that determine health: some are under one's influence, most are not. To decide that Jack LaLanne had the superior fitness program over Jim Fixx is to pretend that we are masters of more than we have a right to claim.

Who cost the health care system more? Fixx died young, supposedly sparing us from his old age and the care he would need. LaLanne needed heart valve surgery at age 95. Was he a burden to the system because he prolonged his life until his valve needed care? These are absurd questions, but they are the kinds of questions to which the lifestyle think and victim blaming of current rhetoric lead us.

That leads to why the second assumption is also bogus, but with a grain of truth. We live in our bodies and in those bodies only we know what it feels like. We know our pain and we know our joy in ways that no one else, even our most intimate of lovers can really know. We do owe ourselves care and loving ourselves is, in part, about taking care of ourselves.

But health is not singular. The air we breathe we share. The water we drink we share. Every plant and animal that becomes our food is affected by that air and water as well. We share the planet with bugs. Some of those bugs do us good and some of those bugs under specific circumstances do us ill. We like to think of our bodies are singular, but in fact we have colonies of other creatures who share our body and some of those creatures like the bacteria that lives in our intestinal tracks are necessary for us to function. Where do we end and the bugs begin? Where do we end and the air begins? Where do we end and the water begins?

Carl Sagan once wrote, "We are star stuff." We are the elements and we will return to the elements. All matter does.

This inter-connectivity means that some health problems are better solved at a level different than the individual. Politics, pollution, climate, economics, personal relationships, stranger relationships, historical and sociological contexts affect our health and well-being.

We cannot calculate the cost of the contraction of disease without making some really big and fallacious assumptions. We are assuming that whatever condition or disease that is being examined is preventable and that the incident of that disease could have been prevented. This is always an estimate and it is always speculation.

Calculating the cost divides us and presents some of us as a burden to others of us.

And calculating the cost assumes a set price for our health that is never negotiable or questionable. Health "costs" do not occur spontaneously out of the mouth of some god somewhere. "Costs" are "charged" by people for services supposedly delivered to other people. Want to reduce costs? Charge less or pay less for medical services.

So how does Health at Every Size ℠help us with this understanding of health and the current lifestyle police mentality that essentially want to fault and make victims pay for their "crimes" against the healthy.

The Association for Size Diversity and Health offer 5 Principles of HAES℠:

1. Accepting and respecting the diversity of body shapes and sizes.
   
   
   


2. Recognizing that health and well-being are multi-dimensional and that they include physical, social, spiritual, occupational, emotional, and intellectual aspects.
   
   
   


3. Promoting all aspects of health and well-being for people of all sizes.
   
   
   


4. Promoting eating in a manner which balances individual nutritional needs, hunger, satiety, appetite, and pleasure.
   
   
   


5. Promoting individually appropriate, enjoyable, life-enhancing physical activity, rather than exercise that is focused on a goal of weight loss.

Accepting that people are diverse is a good beginning. Jim Fixx was a different person from Jack LaLanne. Both of these men were a different person from my great-grandfather who lived to be 99 years old, weighed 300 pounds when he died and probably never ran a mile in his life (though I'm quite sure he did his share of physical labor on the farm).

Personally I'm glad the world is full of diversity. I'm easily bored and without the wonderful diversity among us, it would be a really boring place.

Health and well-being are multidimensional and we sometimes choose one thing over another. I like playing poker. But I hate second-hand smoke. Even so-called non-smoking poker rooms are full of smoke because they are rarely cut off from the rest of the casino. I could not play daily, but I enjoy it enough to take the smoke every once in awhile. The exposure is limited but I know it is damaging just the same. Life is full of dimensions and complexities and no one can really draw a straight line of cause and effect with most health-related experiences.

The principles laid out are simple. They suggest that promoting well-being should be about acceptance not creating restrictive and constrictive rules that probably will not have the intended impact.

At the heart of these principles is a belief that all people deserve to be given a chance to show what they are made of -- all people deserve dignity.

The lifestyle policing and cost analyses come from a position of power and control. They are not about good health but about passing the burden on to someone else. They are about blame.

So perhaps you think that because you are average size or smaller this is not an issue for you. Well, the lifestyle think is what drives health care costs. Pre-existing conditions are a brainchild of this way of thinking. Dropping your insurance when you get sick is "only right" in a world where people are to blame for their illnesses. More and more companies are demanding fitness tests of their employees. Better not get too many colds because your boss might decide you ate too much candy or didn't work out enough and compromised your immune system. He will be able to fire you because you are costing the company too much in labor costs and insurance costs for having that cold.

The really sad part of this myopic view of health is that the real problems of pollution, poverty and daily stress are not being addressed. By ignoring the real problems we are making them bigger. You may be worrying about losing weight today, but ignore pollution and global warming and your children may be worried about how to find food for you in your old age.

Adopting a Health at Every Size℠ view of the world can contribute to a broader understanding of health and the major factors that contribute to health as well as creating a more just and sound basis for addressing those factors. Allowing fat people (or any group) to be scapegoated in the name of cost-cutting and blaming will open the door to anyone being blamed for their illness or disability.

First They came... - Pastor Martin Niemoller

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists ,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

I'm excited about kicking off a new blog at the Psychology Today website. The blog is called "I Take Up Space" and is about the consequences of fatism. The site has millions of visitors each month, so I'm hopeful that it will become an outlet for discussing Fat Studies as an emerging field and promoting sociological perspectives on these issues as well.

I write about the failure of New Year's Resolutions and the Moral Panic of the War on Obesity in my first effort.

(Please forgive my cross-posting if you read me in more than one place.)

Had a great time chatting with NotBlueAtAll this week and you can listen in through the magic of podcasting. We talked about THE book and the current project.

A couple of quick updates. First, because my mom has never had to take higher than 150mcg for her hypothyroidism, I kind of assumed that I was somewhere near a maximum dose. I have since discovered that I am not. So the most likely fix is that I need meds adjusted.

The other bit of good news is the doctor's office called and I can see the doctor tomorrow (Nov 5) instead of having to wait another week. It takes a bit for meds to kick in so the sooner I can up the dosage the sooner I'll know if it is going to be sufficient.

I'm very disappointed/frustrated that I haven't found the maximum replacement level for me yet. But again, I have a lot of hope that this may be a core problem and it is fixable.

Thanks to all both here and on FaceBook who have offered support. It really has helped. To all of you who are struggling/have struggled with this I feel the connection.

I have the distinct impression that in a fat neutral world, this would be something that gets more attention and treatment. But since everyone JUST KNOWS that all weight gain is due to the eating and exercise habits of the person, conditions like hypothyroidism that affect weight are ignored.

BTW, this works on the other end as well. I've known cancer survivors who are complimented to no end about their weight loss even though it is one of the earliest symptoms of some cancers. Sort of reminds me of the "beautiful illness" of consumption (tuberculosis) where 19th century people admired the glow this horrible disease gave to the skin.

In any case, I go to the doctor tomorrow and hopefully will find some balance. I'm so far behind in my work and I find the fatigue is frustrating, especially have sleeping 11 hours and taking a day off (which I essentially did yesterday). One day at a time seems to be the only way to handle it all for now.

I used to want to change my body desparately. I knew exactly what I wanted every part of my body to measure. I mean every part -- not just bust, waist and hips, but neck, thighs, calves, wrists, ankles. I weighed myself daily and I measured myself weekly for a good portion of my life. Buried in my mind somewhere is an encyclopedia of the calories, carbs, fat grams and other nurtritional measurements of thousands of food items. I was meticulous. I was disciplined. I was often successful, losing inches and pounds.



But every time I got close to a goal weight/measurement, something went wrong with my health. At first, it was just colds or electrolyte imbalances. Each successive loss and gain, however, led to more and more serious ailments. I now know I dieted my way into disability. I permanently messed up my metabolic and endocratic systems. I don't have a lot of science to demonstrate that statement but I do have personal experience and I believe it to be so.

So 10 years ago I stopped trying. I do not allow myself to be weighed at the doctor. I threw away all my tape measures. I do not measure my food. I spent two years learning to know my own hunger cues and my satiation cues. I learned to do what should be natural. Eat when hungery. Stop when full.

After I turned 50 it got harder. Before then I didn't have a lot of the metabolic problems that are associated with being larger. I had health problems but they were not typical ones for someone of my size. Then I was diagnosed with a bunch of stuff all at one time. I wondered if I was wrong. Maybe there was a way to diet my way to health and beauty. But I rethought it all over again and came to two conclusions that do have some scientific support:

1. It is far more likely that the stress of stigmatization for being fat and disabled contributed to the metabolic disorders;
and

2. It is also possible that the fact that the hyperthyroidism went undiagnosed and untreated for 10 years also contributed to metabolic
syndrome.

I have ample personal experience that suggests dieting will not help me.

So after re-thinking it again, I came to the same conclusion I did 10 years ago:

I LOVE MYSELF JUST AS I AM.

I LOVE MY FAT BODY.

I LOVE MY SICK BODY.

I LOVE MY DISABLED BODY.

I LOVE MY MENOPAUSAL BODY.

I LOVE MY AGING BODY.

I am not and never will be ideal.


I'm posting this on Love Your Body Day.


I encourage you to think about what the world would be like if we all loved ourselves and were comfortable in our own skin. Think about how much time we would have to do productive and fun things. Think about how much love we would have for others. Think about how much money we would save not buying things meant to make us ideal.


This week has also been promoted as "Fat Free Talk Week" by the Tri-Delt Sorority. I have not really been willing to participate in this effort. I applaud the intent. I lived the experiences that they are trying to change. I exercised way beyond reason. I ate less than 800 calories a day for over 2 years at one point in my life. I abused diet pills and laxatives in efforts to lose weight and reach for the elusive thin body. I know how much of my life was wasted and I've paid a high price.


But I cannot support their efforts and I think that it is appropriate as I contemplate Love Your Body Day to explain why.


I am fat. I look fat. I am what I feared and what many people with eating disorders fear. Avoiding talking about fatness or fat is not going to solve the problem. The problem is NOT that fat is bad. The problem is that trying to be something you are not is bad. So while sorority sisters tell each other to love their average-sized bodies as they are by not talking about fat, what do their fatter sisters feel?


I have welcomed the support from eating disordered counselors and advocates in the fat acceptance movement because I do believe the stigma placed upon fat bodies contributes to the convuluted relationship most women have with food, health and their bodies. But the liason has always been and will probably continue to be a tense one. Many eating disorder counselors spend lots of time with clients helping them to see they are NOT FAT. In other words, the reassurance is that they do not look and never will look like me. They do not spend a lot of time with clients helping them to see that FAT IS OKAY. So it does not surprise me that an organization that is trying to stop eating disorders cannot see the inherent stigma is calling something "FAT FREE" asking students to refrain from statements like "I'm so fat."


Imagine how much howling and protest would be lodged against such an effort if sorority sisters were celebrating a "GAY FREE TALK WEEK" in which they were admonished to not talk about their sexuality in negative terms like "I'm so gay." To me this is tantemount to inviting white people to celebrate their whiteness by refraining from racial epithets aimed at each other.





So I encourage all the tri-Delts and all women (and men) to love their bodies and not to worry whether they are fat or thin or average or blue-eyed or brown-eyed or short or tall or whatever. There is NO IDEAL HUMAN BEING. There is NO IDEAL HEALTH.

There is only YOU and YOU ARE UNIQUE. Be who you are. Be the process. Be the journey. None of this will matter if you celebrate and grow and learn and blossom.

FAT LIBERATION MANIFESTO

1. WE believe that fat people are fully entitled to human respect and recognition.

2. WE are angry at mistreatment by commercial and sexist interests. These have exploited our bodies as objects of ridicule, thereby creating an immensely profitable market selling the false promise of avoidance of, or relief from, that ridicule.

3. WE see our struggle as allied with the struggles of other oppressed groups against classism, racism, sexism, ageism, financial exploitation, imperialism and the like.

4. WE demand equal rights for fat people in all aspects of life, as promised in the Constitution of the United States. We demand equal access to goods and services in the public domain, and an end to discrimination against us in the areas of employment, education, public facilities and health services.

5. WE single out as our special enemies the so-called "reducing" industries. These include diet clubs, reducing salons, fat farms, diet doctors, diet books, diet foods and food supplements, surgical procedures, appetite suppressants, drugs and gadgetry such as wraps and "reducing machines".

WE demand that they take responsibility for their false claims, acknowledge that their products are harmful to the public health, and publish long-term studies proving any statistical efficacy of their products. We make this demand knowing that over 99% of all weight loss programs, when evaluated over a five-year period, fail utterly, and also knowing the extreme proven harmfulness of frequent large changes in weight.

6. WE repudiate the mystified "science" which falsely claims that we are unfit. It has both caused and upheld discrimination against us, in collusion with the financial interests of insurance companies, the fashion and garment industries, reducing industries, the food and drug industries, and the medical and psychiatric establishment.

7. WE refuse to be subjugated to the interests of our enemies. We fully intend to reclaim power over our bodies and our lives. We commit ourselves to pursue these goals together.


FAT PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, UNITE! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE ....

By Judy Freespirit and Aldebaran
November, 1973

Originally Published by the Fat Underground,
Los Angeles, California USA
copied from Largesse Archives

Please share this with others to honor a life well lived. We will miss you Judy Freespirit.

I've been a little out of sorts for the past three days. It's probably nothing. I worked on two big projects immediately after teaching a summer intensive course so I basically spent about 6 weeks running full blast with little rest. It is not unusual for me to deflate a bit after such a busy time.

But when I do, I get a little down about the world. I try to keep that to myself. After all, it is probably more physical than anything else. So why make a big deal.

But it is also a time of introspection and pondering about things. Yesterday, I watched a documentary called The Age of Stupid and today I watched a documentary called For All Mankind. An interesting pairing. The first is about global warming and how we are ignoring the danger signals and proceeding to a point of no return. The second was a look back at the moon landings, narrated by several of the men who have actually walked on the moon.

I am old enough to remember the moon landing and how positive it made me feel about the world and country I lived in. I was aware of other things at the time as well, though both my assessment of the moon and my awareness of troubling social stress like the Vietnam War and racial tensions were naive. I was 11 years old.

But I do remember that I had hope.

I'm not so hopeful any more.

In fact, my feelings about the world around me are usually a high level of skepticism coupled with an overwhelming sense of sorrow. I have found in the ensuing 42 years that the position of disbelief is usually the truest position to take. I just frankly don't think much happens at face value anymore. There is always an agenda.

Of course when Kennedy made the above speech there was an agenda then as well. And it wasn't the explicit agenda. The cold war was on. The race to the moon was as much about military and ideological dominance as it was about exploration and expansion. It was inspirational but it was also devious.

Still, I think the quality has changed some how. I don't think our "leaders," if you want to call them that, rarely bother to cover up their motives or seek to take any kind of high road. We live in an uninspired age.

Yeah, I had a little hope when Obama gave wonderful speeches. But his words have not been met with action. That is partly because Washington and maybe the country (who can tell with the media lies) is deeply divided. But it is also because Obama is a politician first and foremost. We do not need politicians right now. We do not need politics right now.

There are some who would write for the next line that we need reason, but I do not even believe we need reason.

We need soul. We need to understand our nature and the nature of our planet and to feel the damage that our greed, hate and callousness are creating. We need to breath with the earth and feel her pain. We need to get out of our cities and look at the stars and understand our place in the cosmos. We need to feel the full impact in our guts and know that something must change and must change soon.

If I were Mother Earth, I think I'd be putting my collective children into a major "time-out" right now. It isn't that there are not things to be done. We should be doing things. We should be changing things.


But we are not:



We continue consuming, drilling, exploiting, and "expanding wealth" as if no piper was coming to demand payment.

But the piper is sounding the warning and the payment is not far away.

WE could make different choices.

I say "WE" but more and more I feel disenfranchised from that "WEness."

I do not feel the power.

In fact, I see very little in politics or in society that is being devoted to anything more than posturing. Those few of us who want to really see change are co-opted by politics or ignored.

It was present in the Age of Stupid video. I do not live in a large house, drive a large car or consume at anywhere near the level of my fellow Americans. I do not have the smallest ecological footprint, but I do not have the largest either. Yet the filmmakers chose to illustrate how much Americans were out-consuming the rest of the world by putting various cartoon fat bodies up. Yes, no matter what I do for the ecology, the greenies don't want a fat American on their side. Obama's escalation of the War on Obesity represents politics as usual. It is popular on the left to demonize fat people while crying loudly about other "isms." Never mind, the inherent contradiction of promoting one form of hate while claiming to fight another. Never mind, the promise of a different kind of politics while still using "war" both literally and figuratively in just the exact same way as those who came before.


Being disabled doesn't help either. As someone who runs into barriers every day of my life, I am keenly aware that technological advances mean nothing without a will to act and build. The "WE" often does not include the weakest among us.

So when I say "We Choose..." I really mean our so-called Leaders choose. I don't mean politicians, btw, when I say "leaders." I mean the people with power, the Power Elite.

The Power Elite chooses.

Can something be done about all this?

Well, yes. The "can" question is not the "will" question though. WE can do a lot. WE can make up our minds to go to the moon and put the resources towards that end and then get there. WE can end war. WE can end poverty. WE can live more in harmony with our environment.

But WE will most likely not do so.

Unfortunately, the we in the next sentence does include me and you: WE will pay a price for ignoring the truth. We will pay that price even if we knew the truth and were not heard by the Power Elite.

I wish I had an answer for the rest of us. I wish I could figure out what exactly those of us who see the impending disaster could do to get the powers that be to change. But today, right now, I feel like a passenger in a car who knows we should be putting the brakes on and is putting her foot through the floorboard trying to make it stop when it is the driver who has to brake. My imaginary brake won't save us and we are going to crash. It is a slow-mo feeling of impending disaster and a strong sense of helplessness.

That sense of helplessness won't keep me from screaming: "Look Out! Stop!" But ultimately it is not my call. Ultimately some other people are going to have to do something different. Ultimately they will have to make a choice and the consequences of that choice will have a deep impact.

I do have hope. I have the hope of someone who knows what it means to hit a bottom and learn. I fear for us as a species. There was a saying among 12-step programs -- "Don't let your bottom be lower than death."

I believe in Mother Earth. I think she will find a way to restore balance. I believe she will re-order what needs to be re-ordered. I can hear her motherly voice. "We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way."

Please, let's choose the easy way.

So I'm excited that there is a new resource on the web for People of Size.

And I'm very exited to be blogging there:

Why Are We Letting Michelle Obama Off So Easy?

I'm going to try to blog over there at least once a month.

I highly recommend the website.

Take the Pledge!

I Pledge:

* That I will not diet for one day, on May 6, International No Diet Day.
* Instead of trying to change my body to fit someone else's standards, I will accept myself just as I am.
* I will feed myself if I'm hungry.
* I will feel no shame or guilt about my size or about eating.
* I will think about whether dieting has improved my health and well-being or not.
* And I will try to do at least one thing I have been putting off "until I lose weight."

Signed,

Pattie Thomas

I wrote in Taking Up Space that I am a reluctant warrior in the War on Obesity.

I don't like the idea of being a professional fat person.

I don't like the idea of being a fat activist.

I don't like the idea of defining myself as "that fat woman."

There are a thousand things I'd rather being doing, thinking about, playing with.

So I took a break for a while. I stopped writing about it. I stopped hanging out in forums. I stopped interacting with the fat activist community on a daily basis.

Then last summer I found Face Book and there was all this beautiful fat positive, fat activism going on and I was back in touch.

Also, last year The Fat Studies Reader was published. I co-authored the final article in the book. Actually, I authored an article that got combined with three other articles into one article. The book is getting a lot of attention. I sense a change and that change is actually interesting for me personally because it is opening up academic spaces that I might could wonder into. I have re-discovered a love for teaching at CSN over the past two years and I am feeling positive about the future as a fat woman and as a writer and as a teacher and maybe even as an academic.

But two incidences over the past few days have got me thinking about this and reminding me why I really dreaded.

First, there was a misunderstanding on one of the FB groups I post to and I felt like once again I was being treated like the angry one. Then later an FB friend posted about how great community is for addressing fat hatred and then as several people (including me) responded with anger about hateful comments we were scolded for not being more tolerant. Tolerant of hate? Being careful to not make a bully or a bigot feel shame. Wow. I'm very confused.

There seems to be a fear among activists regarding anger that I frankly don't understand. It is like many of them are waiting for permission from the powers that be to critique the powers that be. I'm reminded of Audre Lorde's article about the master's tools cannot be used to dismantle the master's house.

My anger is part of the deal. And I have lots of anger. Anger at being pushed into corners I don't want. Anger at being told that it is my responsibility to break out of those corners without holding the people who pushed me there responsible. Anger that the people I turn to to help me push back are too busy criticizing me to be of any help.

Someone said that they are happy to be a fat activist. I'm happy that I've met some incredible people and that I've found some incredible support. But I have to tell you that even with all the good stuff going on, I'm still getting this lack of true community and lack of anything effective being done. Okay, I've written that and I don't like saying that. It isn't exactly true. But the sad part is that it is closer to the truth than the opposite.

I don't want there to be a fat community, per se. I want the need for that community to end.

I want there to be freedom. I want people to be able to be themselves without fear. I want people to have a healthy intolerance for injustice, for hatred, for wrong. I want being right to be respected. I want human rights to be respected. Mostly I want to travel and make art and write and play with animals and take great photographs and move freely in the world without fear. And I want that and more for you too.

The key for me is how to do that and once again I'm faced with the question as to whether activism is the answer.

I cannot escape my fat body. I cannot escape the hatred and stigma that is placed upon that body. I am a reluctant warrior in the war on that body. I have to defend. I cannot have what I want otherwise.

So, here's my answer for now (and I am really just coming to this conclusion as I write):

We have to find some new tools. There is no other way to do it. Failure is not an option. I cannot forget all this. So I got to find someone, somewhere who want to forge these new tools with me. It's an adventure. It's new territory (something I love to explore). I cannot go back to this without something new and I cannot NOT go back to it because I cannot live silently. Something, somewhere has to give and right soon.