fattypatties

A friend of mine gave me a card that still sits on the fridge. On the front it says "dare to be naive." Over the years I've contemplated a myriad of meanings for the card. This is the meaning I'm contemplating tonight.

The world is absurd, and yet, I am naive enough to want to find its meaning.

I naively think that when people say they want freedom, they know what that means, that trying to contain or control the chaos usually results in less freedom.

I naively think that people will take me at face value. But a false dichotomy grips this land called America. "If you're not for us, then you're agin' us." Can't I just be "for" something without having to take up a whole side. I don't fit. I don't want to fit into this neat box. I like fractals.



I naively think that in order there is chaos and in chaos there is order.

I naively think that I am a free person and that holding an idea that overlaps with one side of this artificial, false divide does not limit me from holding an idea that overlaps with the other side. I am free to have my own side, as I see it.

I naively think that my having a brain is a good thing. Apparently, the world sees it as an inconvenience.

I hold little power. I have no money. My opinion does not count and is not sought. Others decide for me. I am constructed by others and then made to suffer the consequences of the construction as if it were my own doing. I am naive enough to believe I might get to have say in my own identity.

This culture, this place, this 235 year old experiment is falling apart because of this false divide. Turns out that a house divided against itself just collapses.
I am naive enough to think something better might emerge from the implosion (maybe that's just what Vegas taught me).

You may be wondering what triggered this contemplation and its underlying anger, disgust and sadness.

Nothing and everything.

I'm naive enough to speculate and wait around to see what's next. I am naive enough to believe that there has to be a better way.