I'm melancholy today. Fifty years ago today my parents were married. My father passed away five and a half years ago. I remember as a kid imagining giving my parents a 50th wedding anniversary party. I missed the one they had for my grandparents because I was a teenager and I thought things like this weren't important.
I miss my Dad.
Sometimes it seems like there is an undercurrent of grief in my life and that days like today tap into that undercurrent. I not only miss my Dad, but I miss my son and my dog and my cat and my happy life and my health and my, well, you get the idea.
Days like this one will pass into happier days. I know this. But it still hurts and I still feel vulnerable and overwhelmed. It is like wading through jello.