fattypatties

I want to take a moment to make something very clear -- the reason I felt funny about "coming out" is because I believe that I am a fat woman, that being fat is part of my natural body shape and that culture and society does not want me to be myself. Any problem I have is located in that hatred, not in me. I am comfortable being fat. I am comfortable in my own skin and I like who I am. My fear is that crazy people would hear me and call in and tell me how horrible it was that I was comfortable being me, that I actually believe it's okay to be fat if that is part of who you are.

Diets don't work. Maybe a few brave souls succeed in reducing their size for a long time, but my guess is that just like the African American who successfully passes, most formally fat people must be ever vigilant that their shameful "true self" will be spotted. Dieting is a form of fat hatred. I don't hate fat. I like who I am and who I am becoming.

BEFORE AND AFTER

Before:

When I was child
(the told me I was ONLY a girl)
I talked like a child
(too much they said, "SHUT UP")
I thought like a child
(why?why?why?why?why?why?why?why?WHY?)
I reasoned like a child
(it must be me, I'm NOT enough)

When I became a (wo)man
(a GOOD girl)
I put childish things behind me
(and knew my PLACE)

Now we see through a glass darkly
(for I am lost even to my own reflection)
But then we shall see face to face
(how will I reclaim my image?)


AFTER:

and now these three
(childlike)
things remain:

faith
(in who I am)
hope
(in who I can become)
love
(the most childlike thing of all)

but the greatest of these is
love
(I learned to love me again)

an adaptation of Paul's letter to the Christians at Corinth in first century AD

(copyright by Pattie Thomas, 1994)