Posted by Pattie on 5/29/2005 06:50:00 PM


ass·hole NOUN: Vulgar Slang 1. The anus. 2. A thoroughly contemptible, detestable person. 3. The most miserable or undesirable place in a particular area.

Just for the record, the story I'm about to tell you is not libel because, the person about whom I write is a "a thoroughly contemptible and detestable person" and truth is a defense for libel in the United States. However, I will not refer to this person by name and only called this person that ass-hole (TAH) and you can figure it out if you must.


BTW, TAH is just an asshole and I'm over trying to be nice about that.


While we were on the road this past year, TAH has been storing our stuff. This is not as big an imposition as you might imagine because TAH lives with one other person in a three story house with a large attic that is essentially a fourth floor. TAH volunteered to store the stuff and made no indication that it was considered an imposition. There was plenty of room for the stuff we had stored.

TAH has known for over a year that the majority of stuff was our papers and books as the boxes and books were clearly marked due to the fact that they had to go through customs when they were moved from Canada to United States.

I tell you all this because I want you to understand how truly unacceptable the following story is:


In late April, we received a call from TAH telling us that TAH was moving into a smaller house in late June and that we needed to decide what to do with the stuff in the attic. Our choices were to have TAH ship them to us here in Phoenix or for TAH to continue to store them but at a storage unit. We were told that we had until June 1 to decide.

On May 25 (note a week before the June 1 deadline), I called TAH stating that it would help us if TAH were to store the items for the summer and ship them when we move in September when our lease expired.

TAH responded by asking me if TAH could throw away "all those papers."

"You don't need all those papers anymore, do you?"

I responded that the papers were the most important part. "The papers" are all my writings, research work, books out of print, notes on different projects and journals that Carl and I have kept over the years. In addition, "the papers" might also include cards and letters I received when I lost my son, stuff I had of my father's (who died in 1999) and other momentos of my life. In addition, "the papers" included all of Carl's sports collectibles and his journals and letters. In other words, "the papers" represent our memories and our life's work and are, for the most part, irreplaceable and quite precious to us.

TAH actually said to me "You have the PhD now, what do you need with all those papers?"

When I would not acquiesce the point, TAH announced that it was a moot point because "the papers" had been thrown away three weeks before.

I'm devastated. I'm shellshocked. I feel violated.

I am extremely angry!

I'm hopeful that TAH was just saying that and that TAH will come to senses and that TAH will just send our stuff here and it will be over.

I'm hopeful, but not optimistic. After all the person is an asshole.

This morning I called TAH and asked for the things to be shipped here. TAH agreed and it was total twilight zone. It was as if the other conversation had never happened. So maybe the stuff still exists, maybe it doesn't.

I will know in three weeks or so if my life's work has been destroyed.

This is the weirdest limbo of my life.