I spend a lot of time complaining about things both on and off line, so I thought I should share something positive. I did my second workout in the weight room today!
Okay, some history so you can see what a great feeling this is.
In 1994, I started playing with weights. I like weight training. I like feeling my body grow stronger. I like knowing that I can lift and move things that were unattainable to me just last week. I like the routines. I experience the circuit in a zen like state, aware of my body, but not self-conscious. I find weight training to be the best stress reducer I've experienced that didn't involved some sort of narcotic :D
In 1997, I was diagnosed with lupus and my weight training activities ended. I spent March to December of 1997 in bed, feeling like I couldn't walk to the bathroom, much less lift anything. In the summer of 1996, I could bench press about 85 pounds (not Atlas material, but definitely good for a girl). I felt devistated that I could no longer enjoy weight training.
After trying a few times and suffering because of the attempts, I stuck to water aerobics and aquatherapy and decided that I would never be able to lift weights again.
So you see, this is a big deal to me. It is the first real progress I've felt since being able to get out of bed in early 1998. I've just been treading water (excuse the pun) health-wise until this summer. I would get sick and then get better, but never good enough to think I might have my old body back, my body that could do things.
It is amazing what the muscles remember. The trainers who are helping me have commented that they knew immediately from my technique that I had lifted before. My muscles remembered. Underneath the ravages of lupus are muscles who remember. I am afraid to hope, but I am hopeful. It isn't a cure and I have to take it slow, but it is good news nonetheless and I wanted to share it with someone.