Posted by Pattie on 8/18/2002 10:50:00 PM

It has been a dreadful week healthwise, but a great week workwise (something that rarely happens in my life). My acupuncturist is sick and I haven't had a treatment in close to six weeks now. I now know why I'm paying the big bucks for treatment. I have so much more pain. It gets tiring. I have costochondritis brought on by lupus or fibromyalgia -- I'm not clear which or maybe both. All I know is that the joints and muscles where my ribs join at my sternam are causing me a great deal of pain when I breath or cough. I can't find a comfortable way to sit or sleep and, of course, that means more pain as the viscious cycle of pain and sleeplessness begins. The less I sleep the more I hurt, the more I hurt, the less I sleep. I solved the afternoon sun problem. I'm spending my afternoons at U.Vic's library basement on hot days and closing my drapes and hiding out in my apartment on cool days. I'm glad to see some cooler days this weekend. I've been taking pain medication this weekend -- something I hate doing and don't do often. It makes me dull. I feel like I'm walking around in gelatin.

Kell and Tish have been contemplate the fat movement or the lack of a fat movement. I am especially interested in the discussion about health and fatness because I've often felt a bit weird about all the healthy food and exercise exclaimations as if fat people have to prove their health to the world around them. On the other hand, I really object to "fatness as disease" model. Even with so-called super-sized people, I think it is a big mistake to talk about the fat being the disease. Maybe it is a symptom of disease, but it isn't the disease itself. Tish said this so much better than me and I know somewhere in my foggy brain is a really good piece about diesease and society and fatness, but not tonight.

Tomorrow I look for a new acupuncturist or a temporary one, at least. I can't go on in this fog any longer.